Groundhog Day

It was 7:25 in the morning. Phil was not a happy groundhog.

“I tell you, Gladys, these humans are crazy! Trusting a groundhog to plan their lives. It’s not like I have any special powers!”

“Phil, if it bothers you that much, just come back to bed.” Gladys pulled the blanket up under her chin.

“Don’t think I wouldn’t like to. But do I have a choice? Nooo, at 7:29 every 2nd of February, that big hand in the white glove comes in and grabs me. Then I’m shoved up above ground, a thousand reporters blind me with their camera flashes, and I’m lucky to make it back into the hole before some kid beans me with a stale bagel. Don’t tempt me, Gladys, don’t tempt me!”

“Well, try going with the flow instead of fighting it this time. That might make a difference.”

“Go with the flow? Oh, that’s brilliant, Gladys, just brilliant. It doesn’t make any difference what I do anyway. If I see my shadow, we’re in for six more weeks of winter. If I don’t see my shadow, spring will be here within a month and a half.”

Gladys yawned and blinked sleepily. “If it doesn’t make any difference what you do, just do whatever makes you happy.”

“Makes me happy? Do you know what would make me happy, Gladys? It would make me happy if this whole Groundhog Day business just went away! Do you know how this started, Gladys? There was a holiday called Candlemas they celebrated in the old country. The animal they watched on Candlemas to see if he saw his shadow was a hedgehog. A hedgehog, Gladys! Only there weren’t any hedgehogs around when they came over to the new world, so they decided to watch groundhogs. I’m a second-rate substitute for a hedgehog, Gladys! I’m the first runner-up in the beauty contest for hibernating weather predictors!”

“Well, Phil, at least you’re not in the running for Miss Congeniality. Why don’t you just show them that you are unique this year? Do something different?”

Phil scratched his nose impatiently. “That might be just the thing to do, Gladys, you might be on to something there.” The tiny grandfather clock in the hall tunnel chimed 7:29. Phil groaned. “Well, here we go!”

A huge white-gloved hand appeared in the tunnel and gently grasped Phil by the scruff of his neck. He was dragged to his front door, and the hand began to push him up from behind.

“Hey, hey, hey, watch where you’re pushing, there!” Phil barked. Then he was outside.

Multitudes of people began cheering as cameras flashed from every direction. Phil closed his eyes to dull the pain. In a moment, his vision cleared and he looked around to see his shadow on the ground behind him. “Hey, what do we have here?”

He lifted his right foot, and the shadow lifted with it. “Hmmm… what else can we do with this?” He lifted his foot higher, and raised his paws higher above his head. “Haiii-yah!” he screamed.

“Look!” someone shouted. “Punxsutawney Phil is in the crane position!”

A man in formal attire and wearing white gloves stepped between the crowd and the kung-fu groundhog. An airborne stale bagel bounced off of his striped vest. “Phil is fine, folks, he’s just a little upset like the rest of us that we’re going to have six more weeks of winter!” Twisting his neck around, he hissed to his assistant, “Get that groundhog back into the tunnel!”

Phil was unceremoniously hurried back into his warm home. He saw the shadow of the front door close above him. He stared up, listening to the jabbering of the crowd outside.

“Phil, honey, are you finished already?”

Phil smiled to himself. “It seems so, Gladys.”

“Then come to bed. It’s six weeks until spring.”

Back to Business

Our family was down with serial flu over the holidays, so it's good to be functional again. I hope your holidays were blessed!

During this time our shipment of the first edition of Molly O'Malley and the Leprechaun came in, so I'm very excited to get copies out to all of my fans who were waiting for their book! Plenty of copies still available, and I'm extending the initial discount for a little while longer.

I'm going to start creating podcasts of Charlie and the Chess Set and posting them here on the blog.

For today, here is a short story about resolutions - marginally, at least, but I was looking for something a little bit January.

Mission: Resolution

Agent Jason Stone approached the front door warily. He checked behind him; no sign that he was followed here. The street was quiet, with streetlights casting halos that clung to the road, leaving the yard and entryway cloaked in the late-night darkness.

Pressing a small button on his keychain, a dim LED illuminated the lock. He selected a key and carefully slid it into the cylinder. Soundlessly he opened the deadbolt, swung the door open and stepped into the foyer.

The first floor was clear, but what he was looking for was on the second floor. Jason tested the steps. No squeak, he was in luck. At the top of the stairs he took the hallway to his right, second door on the left. He turned the knob and peered in.

Clare was asleep, as he had anticipated. He watched her from the door for a moment, drinking in her beauty as she breathed softly.

Next he moved back down the hallway to the door he had passed by. He rested his hand on the knob and paused. He wondered if he was too late. Slowly he pushed the door open to find Michael’s eyes fixed upon him. “Come in, Agent Stone.”

Jason stepped into the room and casually draped his jacket over the chair. “Good evening, 006. Is everything in order?”

Michael smiled. “You’re the one coming back in from a mission. How did it go?”

Agent Stone smiled in return. “Well enough, I suppose. I made it back in one piece. You’re up late.”

“I worry about you when you’re out. Anyway, ‘M’ is waiting for you.”

Jason nodded and picked his jacket up. “Well, I’d best report in, then. See you in the morning.”

Proceeding past the staircase, Jason approached the final door at the other end of the hallway. He opened the door slightly. The lights were out, but he could tell that ‘M’ was there.

He hung his jacket in the closet and changed into his PJs. Slipping under the sheets, he wrapped his arms around Maggie and kissed her passionately. She touched his lips with her finger. “Are you still playing that silly ‘Secret Agent’ game with Michael?”

“Who? You mean 006? That is his age. It’s hard to believe that Clare is almost nine now. I’m glad I resolved to take the late flight home after the conference instead of waiting until tomorrow. I miss you guys something awful. Family comes first this year.”

Maggie smiled. “I resolve to love you even more,” she whispered. “It’s a new year, Agent Jason Stone, and your new mission is to be the perfect family man.”

Jason grinned. “Now some resolutions you just want to keep!”